Sexting? 1,2,3 Parenting?

The topic of teens “sexting” was one of the issues discussed by New York Times best-selling author Rosalind Wiseman at an April 14 presentation in Elkins Park sponsored by the Auerbach Central Agency for Jewish Education. The parent motivator, best known for Queen Bees and Wannabes, basis for the movie Mean Girls, captivated an audience of over 350 educators, counselors and parents from across the region.

Wiseman’s talk was titled “Connected 24/7: Safe and Ethical Social Networking in the Digital Age.” She said her goal was to help teach kids “social competence,” ethical behavior and dignity in an age when kids seem to know more about technology than most of their parents and educators.

The speaker cited the magnitude of adolescent connection with and through social network gadgetry, using data from the Pew Internet & American Life Project (www.pewinternet.org). Readers can find that report online and discover some interesting trends.

Pew researchers found that 73 percent of 13-year-olds had cell phones of their own in 2009. Over one quarter of teens use such devices to go onto the Internet (bypassing, perhaps, home or school computers). In addition, the report noted that half of teens send more than 50 text messages daily, and one third send over 100 texts daily. Girls age 14-17 average over 100 text messages every day.

Wiseman gave significantly higher figures for sexting (20-30 percent) than the Pew report. Pew researchers found that among teens (age 12-17)owning cell phones, 4 percent say they have sent sexually suggestive or nude images by text messaging and 15 percent say they have received such images.

“Parents matter,” was Wiseman’s shout-out. They have a responsibility to set the rules prior to granting teens the privilege (not their “right”) to have access. And she said parents should monitor their use of this privilege in ways that support safety and the family’s values. She likened teen use of technology to the use of a car: you don’t wait until the child has had an accident DUI to discuss the rules.

The Center for Parenting Education, based in Abington, was a regional resource years before Wiseman ever came on the scene. [www.centerforparentingeducation.org] Founded in the 1990s with the support of Abington Hospital and other partners, the Center’s professional and/or certified parent educators provide programs, information and skills to help raise emotionally healthy children. According to Assistant Director Deb Cohen, these programs have served more than 18,000 enrollments since they began recording, and in 2009, the Center’s new website attracted 16,500 page requests. Participants come from Lansdale, Norristown, Lower Bucks and even New York, says Cohen.

Cohen calls the evolving technology world of teens the “wild west” and says it requires parents to be vigilant and diligent to “keep their kids safe in cyberspace.”

She acknowledges the “mixed blessing” of contemporary information and communications tools. On one hand, “Kids need these tools for homework and to collaborate on projects. For the shy teen, technology can be a social outlet.”

On the other hand, she notes the “addictive part,” when you can’t get the kids off the Internet and when kids take the phones to bed with them, but then don’t sleep. Cohen says she’s heard employers complain that younger applicants and employees lack interpersonal skills. “They don’t have eye contact, and don’t know how to address people professionally.” And an embarrassing moment becomes forever – “the humiliation factor, and the stakes, so much higher” – with today’s technology.

Cohen urges parents not to succumb to pressure to “friend” or try to be peers with their children. Pay attention and use active listening, without applying too much pressure or turning the spotlight on them. Pre-think and revisit their engagement with technology. Monitor your children’s moods – as well as their boundaries. Consequences for breaking the rules – breaking trust - need to be serious and meaningful so that the teen can learn from the mistake: sort it all out, talk about what went wrong and ensure how it won’t happen again in the future.

Adolescent privacy – as Wiseman says – is not an absolute.

The Center for Parenting Education incorporates advice about technology within many programs. You’ll find it woven into different workshops on bullying, on discipline, on adolescent behavior and on success in school/homework, because technology intersects all aspects of life.

If you can’t attend their programs in person, you can nevertheless find dozens of valuable workshops, presentations and articles available on their website.

Great Glenside Gastronomy #1

Some combinations are irresistible: soup and salad; three sisters; peas in a pod. In fact that perfect trifecta exists on the corner of Keswick and Glenside Avenues in Glenside embodied in a mini-market aptly named Peas in a Pod Produce.

Lemon chicken soup is their best seller at 20 gallons a-Mondays, according to co-owner Susan Bailey, with crab bisque Fridays a close runner up. Vegetarian soup is available on Tuesdays. At this time, there are 21 different homemade varieties in rotation.

Pair this soup with the freshest garden salad and balsamic vinaigrette you’ll ever find, and you’ve got a wholesome take-out luncheon for every purpose.

Not long after Joe and Barbara Plewinski passed away, their three daughters invested their inheritance to set up this shop in their memory. “Throwing caution to the wind,” Bailey says she and sibs Karen Dooley and Kristan Coyle have shared all the work and the fun since the store opened in 2007. Their eight kids, ranging in age from 15 to 24, sometimes help out. The sisters envisioned a community venue emphasizing locally grown and/or organic produce. The soups and prepared salads followed, and more specialties are in the works. Fruit smoothies and cheeses may debut in the coming months.

They’re pretty picky about their products, Bailey says, and their suppliers respect that. Guess they know better than to mess with two nurses and an educator. Shelves are stocked with farm goodies from Bucks County, Lancaster, New Jersey and even Weavers Way Farm in Germantown’s Awbury Arboretum.

Okay … and there’s also the occasional smart aleck who asks what local farm grows the grapefruit.

Asked if they feel threatened by Glenside’s summertime farmers’ market or the coming of Creekside Co-op, Bailey responds graciously. “This is a nice community – local businesses all support each other and send us people.”

Indeed, new first-time customers continue to drop in. When they do, they often see regulars from the neighborhood chatting around the counter. One friendly warning: if by some chance you came into possession of a Mets cap, leave that at home.

Other than the good stuff they sell, the most remarkable thing about Peas in a Pod, in the words of one of the sisters, may be that “After three years of intense daily contact, we still get along and are still speaking!”

Hours: Monday – Saturday: 9:00 a.m. – 5:30 p.m.
Sunday: 10:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Phone: 215-887-2719

Free Coffee: Railroading the Region

The Free Coffee Program story goes something like this: A favorite public authority is providing free Starbucks coffee each morning at one of its buildings to attract participation to its services. Each cup of coffee loses money for the agency, but hey, taxpayers are subsidizing it, so it doesn’t need to make sense.

No big duh, our favorite public agency runs short on coffee many weekday mornings during the winter months. Eureka! The agency concludes that there’s so much demand for its services at that building, it needs to serve more coffee there. Equating the desire for free coffee with public demand for its services, the agency seeks $27 million to expand its “successful” Free Coffee Program. Now the authority loses $29 per cup.

You suspect a flaw in the reasoning here?

Yep, here’s the thing: the folks coming to get the coffee are already Starbucks drinkers, coming to save money and get their kicks from a “free” good. They’re not new to the agency services. They’re just driving to the new location because that’s where there’s convenient coffee on tap. There’s nothing inherent to the “free coffee program” that improves the overall utilization of the agency’s services, only where the users show up in order to get coffee.

That was part of the analogy provided by Microsoft computer scientist Ernie Cohen Wednesday evening April 7 in a public meeting at Calvary Presbyterian Church of Wyncote explaining the absurdity of SEPTA’s plan for a 4 or 5-story garage at the historic Jenkintown-Wyncote train station. SEPTA’s plan to add parking doesn’t woo new riders but rather gives current riders additional incentive to drive extra distances beyond their local stations, according to a number of speakers.

Ernie Cohen offers $300 bounty to the person who can find a professional economist willing to stand up to the public and explain for the record how the proposed parking garage makes economic sense.

In the interest of full disclosure, I also oppose the garage. There are lots of solid reasons. These reasons are rooted in what’s good for regional transit and what’s good for the region’s environment.

Evidence demonstrates that over 50 percent of the current parkers at Jenkintown-Wyncote station have leapfrogged SEPTA rail stations closer to their homes to drive to JW. How does that contribute to walkable, sustainable communities? How does that reduce carbon fuel emissions, auto time and traffic? How does that promote new riders on public transit?

Why do hundreds of SEPTA riders skip over their local stations and drive to Jenkintown-Wyncote station?

SEPTA data reveal that those drivers skipping over their local stations to drive to Jenkintown-Wyncote overwhelmingly would prefer more frequent rail service and more parking at stations closer to their homes. Montgomery County Commissioner and candidate for the Democratic gubernatorial nomination, Joe Hoeffel, was the featured guest at this meeting and he admitted to being one of the hundreds of more distant drivers to JW for those very reasons. So why then does SEPTA prefer to frame this as a parking problem for Jenkintown-Wyncote, rather than as a service and parking problem at the relevant other stations? Why survey the public only to ignore their very clear messages?

A number of residents at the April 7 meeting expressed concerns about SEPTA’s use of 20^th century thinking to try to solve 21^st century problems.

· Why accept as “given” or permanent a rail line infrastructure that dates back over 100 years, even though the demographics have changed so dramatically in that time? If the trunk lines are inadequate to meet the needs of riders, build where the riders are and where they need to go. Create spurs, reinstitute the R8 to Newtown, utilize dormant rails where they are and add rails where the beds are wide enough, use right of way, etc. SEPTA is supposed to have expertise at this, not the taxpayers who fund this massive organization.

· Why not revise rail – as we have done with roads – to follow the people and jobs? If SEPTA has bottlenecks, fix them. Don’t throw money at false fixes and pretend those are substitutes. As the taxpayers said, “This is a service problem, not a parking problem.”

· Why spend precious transit dollars on projects that diametrically counter environmental principles and responsibility? Even the EPA’s Smart Growth principles include “walkable neighborhoods” and “transportation choices.” But SEPTA prohibits meaningful public transit choice when its inadequate service requires riders to drive to stations beyond those closer to their homes and work.

Taxpayers have researched and suggested to their political representatives and to SEPTA numerous measures to improve transit service, reduce auto emissions, contribute to stronger, sustainable communities and relieve the parking dilemmas that concern some drivers during peak winter morning commuting hours. Alternatives to the proposed garage would bring vitality to the region’s neighborhoods, improve the environment, contribute to long-term fiscal responsibility and support public transit.

Doesn’t that beat continually paying $29 per cup for “free” coffee?

Study the issue yourself:

http://www.septa.org/construction/jenk-park.html

http://www.septa.org/construction/pdf/jenk-park-needs-2009-12-11.pdf

http://www.cheltenhamchamberofcitizens.org

http://www.r8newtown.com/

Civic Challenge!

The term “student voice” has gained traction since college kids in the 1960s fought parietal rules about entertaining friends of the opposite sex in their dormitories and decried being drafted into a war they strongly opposed.

More recently, some poignant student voices were raised at Cheltenham High School’s Student Leadership Conference. About 63 students - nominated by their coaches, activities sponsors and staff – participated in this 3^rd annual event during school hours in March. Seven school issues of concern to the students were placed on the table for research and problem solving.

At the end of the day, seven study groups presented their work and recommendations to a mock “school board”, comprised of ten adult leaders in the community and two elected student leaders.

“We hope to take the skills we learn forward, to continue research and talk with adults about how to solve these problems,” explained senior class president Delisa Roman. “This is a doorway.”

Roman and Kyle Hellendall, president of the student body, had been preparing for this day for some time. Under the mentorship of district staff Anne Spector and Scott Weinstein, they solicited and refined the topics of concern from homeroom representatives, secured speakers and the mock school board members, and ordered lunch for the conferees. They also conducted preliminary background research on the topics to provide materials so that study teams wouldn’t be starting from scratch.

Both student leaders felt they learned a lot about leadership. “There are different types of leaders, with different perspectives and angles. They’re not always the ones standing at the front talking,” noted Hellendall, who hopes for a career as a Marine officer. “A leader can be quiet and watch,” said Roman, who heads to Hartford University next year for clinical lab study and forensics. Roman expects to stay involved with her community school board.

Learning was taking place on all fronts that day. Study teams presented their findings on the (1) school cafeteria; (2) technology in the school; (3) the tension between PSSA preparation and elective course offerings; (4) alternative discipline; (5) leadership and student voice; (6) facilities; and (7) school cleanliness.

The audience learned, among other tidbits, that CHS students devour 150 pounds of French fries daily. The good news is that it’s the only fried food available and the oil is 100% canola, noted the students, as they pressed for nutritious choices. They were invited by the panelists to participate in the next district Wellness Committee meeting, and to send representatives to meet with the food service director on a monthly basis.

Student proposals on methods to unblock important research sites without permitting students unfettered access to inappropriate Internet use were acknowledged to parallel strategies at area colleges and reflect emerging standards.

Student voices urged that more explicit connections be made between what students are learning for 180 days a year and why. They diplomatically called on educators to address such questions seriously rather than becoming defensive or perceiving them as rude.

“We don’t have a discipline system,” remarked a student summarizing the study on Alternative Discipline, “We have a punishment system.” When students recommended the value of a positive program called Restorative Practices, they learned that the district had recently begun inservice to implement that approach.

Students requested a seat on the school board. In many districts across the country, students have designated seats, serving in advisory capacity, sometimes with separate advisory voting.

The day was constructive in every way. Students took responsibility for many aspects of their school environment and devised strategies to use their voices to catalyze the changes they advocated. Communication with administrators was strengthened.

My particular interest in this Student Leadership Conference stems from my own background and expertise in civic education. I applaud everything I heard and saw, and congratulate all participants.

I offer to readers a few additional challenges and know from my own work statewide and nationally in this field that our mutual educational goals and the public will be well-served as schools across the region rise to meet them.

(1) How will you make the exemplary growth experiences of the students hand-picked for the student Leadership Conference available to the rest of your student bodies? These other students are also citizens in this republic who need apprenticeship with public policy problem solving. All students need experience researching relevant issues; all students benefit from relevant engagement in such issues. All students need to practice formulating thoughtful recommendations for improving their world, presenting these ideas to power, and receiving deliberate responses.

(2) How will you integrate into your standards-based curriculum greater time to research authentic public policy issues, analyze the findings and practice deliberative discussion on the merits of diverse arguments? One day’s research does not build a solid, credible skill base for most citizens.

(3) Where/when will schools and families provide authentic trips to actual school board and municipal meetings so that young citizens can engage in their local governance in action (rather than simulation) and translate what they’re learning in school into powerfully informed civic participation?

Congratulations on a good start. Keep building.

A Treasure in Life's Collection

I have a note written by Shirley Sue Swaab, ASA dated 7.4.04. That summer I interviewed the vivacious and nationally renowned antiques expert, collector and appraiser for an article I was preparing about funeral practices and the art of writing obituaries.

A resident of Cheltenham Township, Swaab was on the program for an upcoming lecture at the historic Montgomery Cemetery in Norristown, speaking on the general topic, “To Die For: Funeral Customs of the Victorian Age.”

She was 82 at that time. Swaab was keeping a file of obituaries – She called it “People I Wish I’d Known.” Her note to me accompanied some materials she was graciously sharing. Her note read in part, “I can’t send you my own obit, as it’s not time yet to release it!”

With a grieving heart, I report that mournful time has now arrived.

On March 21, 2010, Shirley Sue Swaab passed away. I learned of this profound loss through the Cheltenham Township Adult School, on whose Board the dynamo served for over 49 years until her sudden death. Along with her family, her colleagues in the American Society of Appraisers and everywhere else she made her mark, her friends throughout CTAS were devastated and stunned.

You wouldn’t generally use the term “stunned” when a person of that age dies, but that’s part of the magic that was Shirley. As one friend commented, “She didn’t seem mortal.”

The day prior to her heart attack, Shirley delivered the feature lecture for the Victorian Society in America’s Philadelphia Chapter on “Dignity and Decadence” in the Victorian Period. The day she collapsed, she had just taken part in a ceramics study group. And she’d already arranged for two Adult School trips for the autumn of 2010. Shirley had just completed writing a book that had begun with her handout for a seminar, How to Be a Silver Detective.

Though Shirley never did give me her “advance” obituary, it’s cathartic to share some of her essence. In doing so, I rely partly on the public record, and partly on background from a second formal interview she gave me for an article on “collecting,” as well as on our relationship through the Adult School. Marsha Fischer, past president and continuing officer of Cheltenham Township Adult School, also contributed information and the Swaab family corrected what we got wrong.

Shirley’s reputation transcended local. Her lectures were often sponsored by such prominent institutions as the Smithsonian and the Rhode Island School of Design. Recipient of ASA’s George Sinclair Professionalism Award in 2007, Shirley always punctuated her seminars with wit and humor and she was known for demonstrating her talks with hands-on artifacts from her personal collections, instead of using slides. She created and ran for 60 semesters the very popular Antiques Seminar for Cheltenham Township Adult School, bringing in other experts each week. There was nothing else comparable. Her energy was enviable.

Born in Birmingham, Alabama, Shirley Sue Maring’s first college degree was in metallurgical chemistry. For some time, she worked in the corrosion department of Monsanto. She married in 1946. Her plans to complete a doctorate in the sciences were thwarted by a turf battle over transfer of credits. A second career was Christmas tree decorating, which she said proved too seasonal. She later turned to appraising. Textile restoration is what she planned for her 4th career "When [she] was too old to walk or talk,” she told her family. Shirley said she adored lecturing, because she loved sharing.

Meanwhile she remained happily married to Don for 64 years, raised four children, and became a significant party in the lives of her grandchildren. Six months before her death, Shirley asked math professor Marsha Fischer to recommend a good book on linear algebra so she could keep up with her grandson. Perhaps playing – and teaching - tennis also helped keep her young.
Shirley Sue was always dressed and groomed impeccably, bejeweled and made up to match what remained of her captivating Southern drawl.

Swaab’s collections ranged from the fine and serious (silver, porcelain, ivory, etc.) to the whimsical and “offbeat.” She was proud of her Victorian mourning jewelry, large black bloomers (like those worn by Queen Victoria) and “paper ephemera” – including funeral invitations. She also enjoyed collecting air sickness bags from the days when airline travel was luxurious and competitive and these items were artful or interesting. She even had a special cabinet made for the airline bags.

Research was one of the most compelling aspects of collecting for Shirley. “It’s part of my training in the scientific field. I like to go to the bottom of things, to know why, where they came from,” she told me. “What makes the articles tick?” Shirley called research and collecting “Joyful.”

Shirley was mentor and muse to all who knew her. She took a personal interest in promoting others, treating folks to homemade goodies and sending supportive letters and helpful clippings.

For example, there was the custodian who had a toothache. When Swaab realized that he would not be able to obtain dental care, she made an appointment for him with her own dentist.
Some years ago, I would have missed one of my favorite all-time writing gigs had she not told me about a particular job posting.

Everyone has stories to tell.

If you, like Shirley, are also keeping a file of People You Wish You’d Known, Shirley Sue Swaab would have to rank awfully high on your list.

Info x 90

Ninety years can be a long or a short time, depending on the context. This year marks the 90th birthday of the Constitutional amendment granting women the right to vote. It’s also the 90th birthday of the League of Women Voters, founded to help newly enfranchised women inform their own political choices.

Vivienne Spector (no relation to Arlen Specter) is the president of the League of Women Voters of Abington-Cheltenham-Jenkintown (LWV-ACJ). She’s NOT ninety! Spector says she was attracted to the League when her kids were young by “the wonderful, intelligent, vibrant women” performing such important roles in educating the public. For many decades now, the League has also embraced male members and officers as well. “The League gives non-partisan information about candidates’ positions and brings issues to the forefront,” says Spector.

For example, the League’s 2010 Government Directory is hot off the (courtesy of Abington Township) press. This annual publication is a handy little 8-1/2 x 14 fold-over, containing the current election calendar, absentee ballot information, contact information for local, county, state and national representatives, and local meeting information. Copies can be picked up free of charge at libraries across these municipalities, or by calling 215-887-6444.

The Government Directory is only one of many invaluable resources, long provided to our communities by LWV-ACJ. In addition:
• Twice a year, the League prints a Voter’s Guide with vital background about the candidates, ballot questions and polling information.
• The League conducts voter registration drives at Willow Grove Mall, Arcadia, grocery stores and street fairs. (Voters who move need to re-register in order to be eligible to vote in their new residences.)
• Every January, ACJ sponsors its “Legislative Interview” at which the broader area’s state representatives and senators answer questions posed by the League, and then the public, about legislative activity in Harrisburg.
• The League organizes numerous Meet the Candidates forums for school boards and other elected offices.
• Local league members organize studies on major issues in order to determine appropriate public positions. For example, over the past months, ACJ members have been researching natural gas extraction from the Marcellus Shale deposits across the state. They’ve discussed the research and sent their consensus viewpoints to LWV of Pennsylvania to be factored into the state League’s policy.

Spector’s background is in real estate. If your settlement package ever includes voter registration information and a Government Directory, you can thank her for that initiative. Meanwhile, she remains as impressed with the League today as she was when she originally joined. “Members are involved, and they’re always intent on learning more!”

It’s a rare organization that has the staying power of the League. You don’t have to be ninety to appreciate good information.

Expand Your Borders, Too

Expand your borders.

Hear a physician from Doctors Without Borders discuss her experiences abroad at the next Cheltenham Forum, Tuesday evening, March 23, Cheltenham High School Auditorium, 8:00 p.m. The public will have time to pose questions in writing and from the microphone.

Dr. Anje van Berckelaer focuses on fighting malnutrition, especially in children, around the globe. Her presentation and the Q & A is part of Cheltenham Township Adult School’s Forum Series and is sponsored by MossRehab, Elkins Park.

General Admission $20, students $10. For more information, contact CTAS: 215-887-1720 or www.cheltenhamadultschool.org.